Ramblings of a Redhead

Motherhood, Ministry, Marriage, and Messes along the way

Calm the Heck Down!

on November 11, 2011

Yikes!

This apartment is a disaster, I mean really. I could use a could couple of free hours to scrub, and wipe, and dust, and pick up. Alas, there seems to be no such thing as a couple of free hours anymore. I remember when I was working full-time (pre-baby), I would come home and think I had no time to do anything. Sadly, I didn’t realize just how good I had it, I had mountains of time compared to now. Mountains, I say.

Today I managed to do the dishes (some of them), a couple loads of laundry, and straighten up the living room (sort of). I was sick earlier in the week, and so everything has fallen behind. And, poor Jared, he does his best but working nearly full-time, and being a student full-time, and counseling part-time – well, it takes up all of his time. He helps when and how he can, like last night when he so graciously cleaned out the bunny cage. I find myself getting frustrated that I can’t keep up with it all, but remind myself daily that I’m human and I have to learn to roll with the punches. It’s just I never had the compulsive urge to clean until I had a baby, but I also know he needs a mommy more than a clean house. It’s give and take.

This is Turner not wanting to help me dry the dishes.

 

I say all of that to say…I’m learning. I tend to stress out a little. Okay, a lot. I’m a drama queen (I didn’t get a degree in Theatre for no reason). Most of the time I’m flying off the handle about something , Jared repeatedly can be found uttering phrases like “Calm down, babe.”

I’m in the process of trying to do just that, to calm down. The other night I was lying in bed, fighting the compulsive urge to go check on Turner for the fifteenth time. I often wander in there just to hear him breath, call me a freak if you will, but I just have to do it. I knew he was fine, I had already checked on him, but I also knew that I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I didn’t go in there one more time. I started to feel very convicted about the whole thing, scripture does have a thing or two to say about worry. It was as if God was telling me the same thing that Jared tells me all the time – “Calm down.” I fought Him on this for awhile, until Turner screamed a sharp in-sleep holler through the baby monitor. I nearly wet myself because it scared me so badly, not because I thought something was wrong, but because he interrupted the silence. It was just a short, sharp yelp and then it was over. He was just making noise in his sleep, and he was fine. I didn’t need to go in there.

I know that my God is going to take care of everything,  I just have to calm the heck down.

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2 responses to “Calm the Heck Down!

  1. oh what words do i say to make it better. take one day at a time. yep that would be it. i wish dearly that i lived close to you. i would pick up that baby and give you the hours you so desperately need. just remember to prioritize and realize what needs to be done now and what can wait. i say the dusting can wait til the weekend LOL. Im thinking about you guys and wishig i could fit into Aimee’s suitcase so i can see you sooner than Christmas. and please tell me that you will be able to spend christmas eve with the family. im pretty sure everyone is dying to see you.

  2. Tom says:

    Like the blog. Now you can truely appreciate your own mom. Love You.

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