Ramblings of a Redhead

Motherhood, Ministry, Marriage, and Messes along the way

Folding Fitted Sheets and Other Things I’ll Never be able to do

on November 17, 2011

I can’t fold fitted sheets; I don’t even believe it’s possible. Sure there’s a handful of Martha Stewarts and Suzy Homemakers that can, I’m sure their linen closets are also color coordinated and their bookshelves could pass the white glove test. That’s just not me – I attempt to fold that fitted sheet everytime. Each time I’m sure it’s going to be different, but eventually I relent, ball the thing up and throw it into the closet.

I also can’t whistle or snap. Don’t try to teach me, I’ve accepted the fact that I will never be able to do those things. I assure you, I will not have some sort of “breakthrough” and suddenly learn how  if you try to teach me.

I can’t draw a straight line – even with a ruler.

I can’t put mascara on without getting some on my eyelid, or blow dry my hair with a round brush. I’ve gotten the round brush stuck in my hair more than once, it’s actually pretty painful.

I can’t eat only one piece of chocolate. Why do they even wrap Hershey’s kisses individually? I’m going to eat the whole bag – it may not be on purpose, but it will happen.

I can’t watch only one episode of Friends I’ll watch discs at a time, much to my husband’s chagrin. He likes the show, but is good after an episode or two. I can’t help it, Chandler cracks me up and I’m pretty sure I was Phoebe in another life.

One day I’ll make a list of the things I can do, but for now these are the things I can’t.

And for the record, I’m okay with that.


One response to “Folding Fitted Sheets and Other Things I’ll Never be able to do

  1. Dad says:

    Sounds like to title for a book. “Things I can’t do”. You should think about it.

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