Ramblings of a Redhead

Motherhood, Ministry, Marriage, and Messes along the way

What I’m Learning

on May 16, 2012

They grow up too fast.

That’s something you hear your whole life, and you don’t believe it when you’re seven and not allowed to sit at the “grown-up” table.

You still don’t believe it when your fourteen and an eternity away from your sixteenth birthday and a driver’s license. Or even when you’re twenty-one and those final exams are killing you. You still don’t believe it later when you’re seven and a half months pregnant with your first baby, and you pray every night “let this kid get here already!”

But then, that kid enters the world and every time you blink he’s learning something new and growing out of clothes. Turner is almost nine months old now, and I can’t even describe how fast it’s zoomed by. I asked my mom if the rest of my life was going to go by this fast, and she replied with a resounding “YES!”

I’m enjoying this mommy thing so much, so much more than I ever thought I would. I adore my precious boy, and look forward to growing our family in the future. As he gets bigger and more adventurous, my fears compound by the minute.

After all, I’m preparing him to leave me. The mere thought…

How can I possibly send my precious, perfect, wonderful boy out into the world? How can I give him to some son-stealing girl and let him go on his merry little way?

I can because I have to.

I dread the day I have to dry his tears because some cruel child hurts my baby’s feelings at recess, and the day when he is that cruel child that hurts someone and I have to correct him. Or the day he’s crushed because he didn’t make the baseball team. Or even the day that whats-her-face declines his offer for a date with a snooty “no, thanks.”

I wish I could protect him from every pain and disappointment that life has to offer, but I can’t. More importantly, I won’t. Although, it won’t be easy or fun, experiencing those upsets are important. Sometimes, life is just hard. But, it’s incredibly worth it.

I will dry the tears, and kiss the boo-boos and encourage him repeatedly. I will try my best to mold him into a compassionate, caring child so that he’ll become a compassionate, caring adult one day.

And I know that “I don’t know nothin’ yet!” I’ve heard that phrase more than I care to, and know that it’s true. I know that I’ve yet to experience all the complexities of growing up from this side of the fence, and I know each phase will be different, none easier than the last. And, I know that it will become more chaotic and challenging as each new baby or child is added to our family. But, I also know that this is what God has called me to do.

He is shaping me, and equipping me to be the mother that my children desperately need. Although, I’m so scared of the pain we’ll experience along the way, I’m so excited to see what’s in store; I am so so so thankful I get to do this. I plan to soak up each day as much as possible, knowing that it just goes by so incredibly quickly.

: )

p.s. This is in no way hinting that we’ll be having another baby anytime in the foreseeable future. We do plan on growing our family, but don’t look for an announcement anytime soon.

Of course, thatis what we said the last time…

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